I was born unaware and didn’t care if I was ugly or poor. I came out a messy face but yet everyone was awed at my existence and I grew up as a child, did whatever I wanted to do at any given time and I didn’t care.
As I grew, my parents projected onto me the principle of right and wrong. Some things were not necessarily good or bad but the expectations attached to them shaped my way of thinking. First, I learned good and bad then I came to know expectations. What was the result? I came to understand that not meeting up to a certain expectation creates a bad impression. Expectations come in different levels, are formed based on certain ideas by different people. What is expected of you is not usually what is expected of me. Why these expectations vary depends on: someone’s idea of me and someone’s idea of himself/herself that affects his/her expectations of me.
Someone’s idea of me:
A person’s idea of me may be true or false and will usually affect me nevertheless if I don’t know the truth about who I am. When these expectations are projected on me before I even have the opportunity to understand myself, I can become controlled by such expectations, allowing them shape how I eventually see myself, giving me a false picture of myself. When I try to meet these expectations due to the fact that I already have a wrong picture of myself, I become insecure.
Someone’s idea of himself/herself:
Humans are relational in one form or the other. When someone is insecure, their expectation of me will be to validate them. If someone feels ugly, their expectation of me is that I make them feel beautiful.
Someone cannot by himself validate what he lacks in himself and will look to someone else for that validation. Here I am feeling disappointed each time I can’t meet such a person’s expectations when in fact, that person needs to work on himself and not bother me and possibly here you are feeling the same way.
Find out the truth about yourself through self-discovery, set your own expectations based on that and you will fulfill those expectations within the happy sphere of who you are. The fulfillment of that is your true and happy purpose.