Relationships get tough sometimes not because they’re not meant to be but because of unavoidable events and situations that put pressure either on our relationship or on us which affect our relationship. The crazy-making stresses that trouble most couples can be radically reduced. Stress is complicated in a way. Sometimes the stressor that is weighing you down is just one of the many reasons you’re stressed. The major thing stressing you out could be something from your past that you haven’t dealt with that has caused more problems. One of the most terrible things to do to your relationship is to ignore major stress signals either in you or in your partner. It only gets worse.
Stress can threaten to eat at the foundation of your relationship. This is why from the beginning of your relationship certain things must be put in place. They include: communication, openness, honesty, vulnerability, kindness, sacrifice, patience, and lots more. When you and your partner operate according to these principles from the first day of your relationship, it will become a habit and when any of these principles is threatened, it will signal both of you that something is going wrong. Also, you both will strive to maintain these principles even under stress because it’s what you both are used to. This will make things not to get too complex in the relationship even during moments of stress.
Your level of investment in your relationship is very important because investment builds foundation and reputation. When you and your partner invest bountifully into the relationship, the value and reputation of your relationship before each other will increase. This will make you both to do everything possible to keep things going even under stressful situations. These are the ways of dealing with stress in your relationship:
Be emotionally intelligent: Stress makes us emotionally vulnerable. When we’re under stress we do and say things we usually wouldn’t under normal conditions. You have to put emotional intelligence into work in relating with your partner. Be sensitive to their emotional needs and try not to do things that will trigger them in a negative way. When feeling stressed, you have to act with emotional maturity too. Try your best.
Communicate: Don’t hide how you feel and expect your partner to decode what is in your mind just the way it is. Speak up in a way that is respectful and comprehensive. Be willing to listen to your partner even when you’re stressed. The common mistake most couples make is to become selfish under stress. Focus on each other. Sometimes, being there for someone else makes you feel happier under stressful conditions. Communicate effectively.
Practice mindfulness: Majority of the things that stress you out comes from your thoughts. Fearful thoughts about the past, present, or future. Sometimes it’s a combination of the three. When you’re feeling stressed, take your mind of those thoughts and focus on your present senses. Focus on what you can presently see, smell, hear, taste, and write it down. This helps you to view your current state as from a mirror and that gives you a fresh perspective of your current situation.
Practice acceptance: Analyze your situation. If it’s something you can’t do anything about, then ask yourself “what’s the worst that can happen?’’. Imagine yourself going through that worst case scenario and ask yourself “how do I solve/handle this?”. When you find a solution, you won’t feel so stressed anymore. This technique will help you to stop over thinking. In every stressful situation, try to find a lesson from it. Practicing gratitude will help you come to acceptance and ease your stress.
Intentional connection: Stress is a distraction. It has a way of distracting your mind from the little things that connects you to your partner effortlessly. When stress takes over, you and your partner have to become intentional about your connection. Intentionally remind each other of things that made you attracted to each other in the first place. Go out on dates. Intentionally do things to fuel the connection. Distract your stress.
The truth is, a relationship will only last depending on how long you and your partner invest into it. Dealing with stress effectively will improve the quality and reputation of your relationship. Your relationship is worth fighting for.